How to NOT coach a team

As a parent, I have discovered true agony.  It is watching your beautiful, talented daughter, surrounded by her talented friends, squander a year away, due to ineptitude at coaching.  I've sat through a lot of games as a parent, across several different sports.  This marks the first season I have been disgusted by the coaching.  Revolted.  Appalled.  Embarrassed for Spanish Fork High.  The girls sophomore basketball team is a wreck, and it is 100 percent on the coaches head.

99 percent of the time she sits there, as if she isn't even watching the game.  The head coach of the team has either a blank stare, or this bewildered look on her face.  She never calls timeouts, never even gets up off her feet.  She has them run the same play over and over again.  She plays favorites, often leaving in the wrong players for too long.  She doesn't substitute often enough.  Instead of improving over the season, the team seems to be slowly imploding.

Top 10 lessons learned this season about coaching basketball.  I need to watch more jv and varsity I guess....

1.  Always run the same play.
2.  Ensure that play never works.
3.  Choose your favorite players, and play them no matter what.
4.  Never use a timeout.
5.  Never stand up.
6.  Always take out the player who is scoring.
7.  Never work the officials.
8.  Never cheer or give encouragement to your team.
9.  Never change your lineup when the team is struggling.
10.  Appear disinterested as often as possible.

I have never, ever been so excited for a season to be over.  The head coach would do well to have different sophomore coaches next year.  This is not the pattern for building and sustaining a successful program.  

Last night's game pretty much sums up the season.  We started ok, were down by only 7 at the half.  We had energy, we had actually been subbing in and out with regularity and things looked up.  Then they start the 3rd quarter, and I note our leading scorers and most tenacious defenders are on the bench.  And we play the same players pretty much the entire quarter with no subs.  And we fall behind by almost 30 points, with no timeouts taken.  We get destroyed, and the coach gives a player of the game award to a girl who only played a total of maybe 5 minutes, all in the 2nd half.

And that my friends is how to destroy a team.  Pretty sure my 6 year old would be a far better coach.

I am so looking forward to volleyball season.